The more I practice yoga and play with my senses, the more I open up to the amazing events that occur around us. I am grateful to the many experiences and connections in my life. I am also amazed by how perfect life gives us opportunity to grow.
I had decided on a theme of “letting go” for my yoga class on Tuesday 4/16/13. My thoughts and ideas around letting go were related to breath….exhaling….letting go of body tension…..letting go of frustrations….even letting go of wanting a job really bad. I believe letting go allows us to further stay in our presence with life. but sometimes really big BIG events happen that are so hard to let go of. . . such as death. In my perfect planning to the theme “letting go”, I was walking out the door to my class when I received a call. I rarely hear my cell phone ringer in the mornings or want to answer when I’m rushing out the door. I answered the phone to hear my mom tell me that my grandfather had just died. In that moment the world stopped, but I couldn’t stop, I had to get my son to school and get to class to teach. My grandfather died – slight shock, but not really. I was instantly loving him and felt him near me, I felt him in my heart. I didn’t cry, I didn’t feel overly sad, my reaction was how lucky was I that I heard his voice just two days prior to this. How lucky I was to know him, and be loved by him, to be inspired by him. My gratitude was there and then I had one regret. I heard his voice on Sunday, but I didn’t say “hello”….I wish I had just said Hi….so that I acknowledged him in that moment. It felt like such a trivial thing to be upset about, but I was upset about it…..so there it was a little bit of regret….and then I came back to exhaling….Letting go of that thought. Letting go of the things that haunt us. What would grandpa say? I think he would know that we all loved him and he loved us all, and when you sit with your senses, you can feel his love inside….the love that he left in the moments that he shared with us.